Benjamin and I have recently had to make a HUGE decision. It's one we've debated over and over and that's whether or not to continue being foster parents. Our license is up for renewal in March, and this is the FIRST YEAR in all the years we've been in foster care (since 2004) where we've actually had an OPTION on renewing, because all of the kids in our home are OURS!!!!! That's a great thing, but on the flip side, it forces us to make a HUGE decision. This decision, for lack of a better explanation, is the same discussion most normal families would be having when it's time for deciding whether or not to have any more children. In essence, our decision NOT to renew would mean, NO MORE CHILDREN for the Baltzlys'. That's a huge thought for me to put my thoughts around.
Part of me is saying, "YOU'RE DONE. DONE with foster care. You KNOW how much work foster care is, and how EMOTIONAL it is. BE DONE." The other part of me says, "Just look at all of those waiting children in Arizona. You are completely capable of taking more, why stop NOW!?" Can you see this battle playing out in my mind? THIS IS SO HARD! The state of Arizona has the 2nd HIGHEST amount of waiting children in foster care in the United States. Pushing 4,000 now! Please don't get me wrong. I KNOW that I cannot save ALL of these children, but the thought stops me in my tracks, that's for sure! This is not my intention, but I could at least help ONE more, right!? :)
So, the decision has already been made, ultimately, but until it is final and we are "relicensed" it remains a question in my mind! Yesterday and today has been spent rounding up all the paperwork needed to file for a foster license renewal.
At this point, we are on a "sabbatical" at the request of us. We have been, actually since November after Chavalah's adoption. We definitely recognized our SERIOUS need for NO INTERRUPTIONS in our very new and sweet and perfect family for several months, but this happened to come in the middle of that "R&R." We will still most likely stay this way until end of April, then open our phone back up for calls. We'll see!
Would you do us a favor!? Would you pray very specifically about this for us. Would you pray that IF IT'S GOD'S WILL for our lives that He would bring us His chosen one for us and that we would feel PEACE about this! And if it's not that He'd make that clear by bringing us no more children and a peace that this is what's meant to be for us so that we can officially move on?!
Benjamin & I so covet your prayers. I will keep you posted! :)
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